Musings on Aging
First, a blessed & happy birthday to Pr. Stiegemeyer! Get on over to The Burr in the Burgh & wish him a happy #36…
One of his observations/comments on this occasion got me to thinking. But first, here’s the quote:
Actually, as I think about it, I really think of myself as nothing more than an overgrown teenager… for better or worse. I still like rock-n-roll (my son tells me to TURN THAT MUSIC DOWN). I still enjoy many of the same types of movies, television and books that I did when I was 16. Of course, at that age, I was an avid reader of theology and history.
Now, this is something that I could’ve written (though my kids aren’t quite old enough to be all that bothered by my musical choices…), which isn’t all that surprising, I guess, since I’ve only got about 17 months of temporal advantage over the good Rev. In the past I’ve often mused about the idea of the self-perception of age - i.e., how old do you think/feel/perceive yourself to be?
Like Pr. Stiegemeyer, in my mind I don’t really feel all that different than I did back when I was in my teens. I know more, of course. I certainly have more responsibilities. Physically I feel different, I guess. But I really don’t think that I feel all that different mentally. Growing up, I really did think that being an adult would be, if not easier, certainly different than it is. Perhaps my parents just made it look all too easy (something which I think might be the case, based on conversations I’ve had with my sister…). I mean, I still have trouble accepting the idea that my father ever felt as uncertain or inadequate to the task of raising his family 30 years ago (he’s 30 years older than me, btw…) as I often feel these days. But I digress…
So, given that the view from behind my eyes at 37 is very much the same as it was at 17 (heck, even before that, too), I don’t foresee it being any different at 47, 57, 67, or beyond. That thought/realization is both comforting and disquieting, though I don’t know exactly why.
Am I completely off on my own here, or is there something more common about this whole perception deal?
-ghp
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One of our pastors tells a wonderful story about his father, also a pastor. The father recently told his son that, at age 85, when he wakes in the morning he thinks for a few short moments that he is 17 again. Then he moves his body and works to get out of bed and is reminded that his body is now old. He has the mind of his youth (with some wisdom and maturity, no doubt), but his body is old. For some reason, that story doesn’t bother me.