Territorial Bloggings

Not a bad hour of AI — Birmingham, home of Idol stars, was nicely represented. And also refreshingly polite.
20 golden tickets out of an undisclosed number of auditions.

First, the very good: Tatiana McConnico - this 17 y/o is one of two folks that we saw that I think have the definite potential to make it at least to the semifinals. 28 y/o Chris Sligh is the other. Sligh is darned near the perfect contestant in my eyes, as he’s got a good-to-great voice, but more importantly he’s drop-dead funny, in a snarky, self-aware way. If he can make it through Hollywood, he has a chance to build a great fanbase & go deep in the competition, perhaps deeper than Tatiana, who is a little more generically/conventionally (and thus forgettably) good-to-great.

Second, the good: 19 y/o Katie Bernard, who needs to sing & not talk, lest we be subjected to that cartoony voice any more than necessary. 26 y/o Bernard Williams II, who was quite good, but most likely just not good enough to make it past Hollywood (although I must wonder just what Paula was thinking, but given her generally bizarre behavior last night, perhaps it’s best I don’t wonder about such things…).

17 y/o Jamie Lynn Ward gets her own paragraph. Why? Because, this girl made Kellie Pickler sit up & say, “No way. This girl has got to be putting on an act!” Jamie Lynn is certainly a blue-eyed bombshell. That she’s only just 17 is really quite hard to believe, given her physical, um, stature. Her accent is even more pronounced than Kellie’s, and her family back-story is even sobbier. Daddy shooting the cheating wife/step-mama, and then turning the gun on himself only to leave him paralyzed? Wow, even Hank Williams, Sr. would look at that and say, “Now that’s messed up!” I can only imagine that the AI message boards are just a-cracklin’ with furor over young Jamie Lynn. It’ll be interesting to see how she fares in Hollywood.

Third, the bad: We had the usual assortment of almost good enough (17 y/o Nichole Gatzman, who actually might’ve made it had Paula been there to sway Randy…), bad but delusional (Lakia Hill, Erica Skye, & Diana Walker, who wasn’t really delusional other than to think that she’d have any chance given how, well let’s be honest, fat she is…), & sweetly delusional but also oddly off-putting (18 y/o Victoria Watson, she of the never-been-cut-in-her-life 6-ft. tresses. Hair that long just isn’t appealing, and I cannot belive that it’s worth the effort. The little sister of a girl I used to date had super long hair (winning age-level competitions at the state fair) and I remember the difficulties that they had in the washing, brushing, & general upkeep of her hair — not fun. Victoria & her mom were sweet enough, but frankly were out of touch with the reality represented by AI…).

Finally, the train-wrecks: First, the gag entry, 26, 33, 50 y/o Margaret Fowler, who was dressed like the demon spawn of Tweety Bird & Big Bird, spoke in an affected baby-ish voice, and was way too willing to show off her belly-fat. I guess she was worth the time, if only because she caused Simon to proclaim that he just didn’t know what the show was about anymore. 28 y/o Brandy Patterson was the obligatory “delusional-to-the-point-of-psychotic” auditioner, who questions the judges’ right to, you know, judge, and who is willing to actually try and blame a lack of talent on a wooden floor. Yeah. Sure. In the end, though, her histrionics were (barely) tolerable & humorous only because Simon seemed to be in a playful mood at the end of a Paula-free day.

All in all, not a bad edition of AI — largely, I would argue, because it was only an hour long, which kept the producers on a short leash.

Up Next: Los Angeles.

-ghp