Territorial Bloggings

The focal point of this past weekend was not, like most of country, Thanksgiving - that was just the appetizer, as it were. Rather, the main focus for the Territorial Brood was the third wedding we’ve attended in the past 6 months.

All three have been “family”-related: the first, my wife’s blood relations, the second, my blood relations, and the third was my wife’s life-long best friend - the type of friend that might just as well be family, for the friendship bond is as tight (or tighter) than one shared by siblings.

The three weddings offered a contrasting look at three different points along the contemporary wedding “event” continuum. Not only that, but they also presented some interesting data points with regard to theology. Note: Much has been written elsewhere about the whole “white wedding” industry, so I won’t get in to all that much detail here; suffice it to say that the trend over the past 50-75 years has been to change the focus from celebrating the start of a life together (i.e., the marriage) to that of the spectacle & shindig (i.e., the wedding).

In the middle, both “event” wise as well as theologically, was the first wedding. My wife comes from a Roman Catholic background, thus it was no surprise that there was a full-on Roman Mass. As I wrote more in-depth on it earlier, I’ll not go into detail here; suffice it to say that while I certainly didn’t like or approve of much of the theology underpinning the Roman Mass, I found it refreshing that they took it seriously as a worship service and not just as a ceremony/event. As for the reception, the focus was on the party as a celebration in & of itself, rather than as a celebration of the marriage. Things weren’t way out of whack, mind you, but enough for it to be reasonably obvious to me. Way too loud and a little too big to keep the emphasis on the marriage over & above the wedding. For reference, the bride & groom were 25-26 years old.

At one extreme, then, was the second wedding, this time on my side. The wedding ceremony was held in a Lutheran church, but the service was more of a “performance” in that it didn’t follow a set liturgy, nor did it have a traditional feel to it. There was much contemporary music involved, and the order of service seemed like it had been left to be molded by the aesthetic requirements of the bridal party more than by any theological requirements. The reception was very much one of a party “event” rather than a celebration of the marriage. It was, I must admit, very much in line with the vibe of two recently graduated, early-twentysomethings getting married. Way, WAY loud music. Lots of drinking. A definite frat/sorority party vibe.

Let me say at this point that I’m not (really!) meaning to blithely pass judgment on the choices made by the folks involved; rather, I’m trying to make some observations about some of the larger theological & societal issues at play in & around the context of weddings…

Finally, at the other extreme was the wedding we just went to. Theologically, it was a very traditional Lutheran service. The Rev. Tim Halboth (of Grace Lutheran, Redford, MI, where they have carved busts of Martin Luther and C.F.W. Walther in the sanctuary!) conducted a very nice service. While it wasn’t liturgical in the sense of being an order of service right out of a hymnal, it very much was a Divine Service that was centered on Christ and Him crucified. It was conducted reverently yet joyously. The reception was the most sedate of the three, possibly because it was the smallest, but also reflecting the fact that the bride & groom were in their mid-thirties. It wasn’t horrifically loud, but the music encouraged much dancing, and the celebration was nicely lubricated thanks to the open bar, but there didn’t seem to be the vibe of drinking as an end in & of itself. The tone seemed to be forward looking, celebrating the marriage & future life together of the happy couple.

Heck, I even did something that I haven’t done since my own wedding reception nearly 18 years ago - dance with my wife. I might be biased, but I got to dance with the most beautiful woman in the room! Not only that, but she stole the show with her matron-of-honor toast, totally blowing away the efforts of the best man!! ;^)

About the only bad thing about it was the fact that the groom’s family has this unfortunate attachment to tOSU, which resulted in the playing of the Ohio State fight song. Luckily, it was immediately followed up by The Victors. Normally I’m a Michigan fan, though not of the die-hard type (not since I was a kid, anyway). Being around all those misguided Buckeye fans though, turned my blood maize & blue, and I was compelled to lead the charge in our lusty rendition of the greatest college fight song known to mankind.

It was a nice weekend, one for which I give much thanks, as many good times were had, and much God-given happiness was witnessed and experienced.

-ghp