Territorial Bloggings

Miami Idol Vice: Simon & Randy. Crocket & Tubbs. Tomato. Tomahto.

Forget the rhythm, I want the talent to get me.

General Observations:

• Paula’s dress? Sinfully short!
• Hot girls? Check!
• Lame guys? Check!
• Sun, sand, & South Beach? Check, check, and check!
• Miami certainly has more, shall we say, flavah than Omaha, doesn’t it?

The Good:

• Syesha Mercado - Winner, “Positive thinking can’t hurt” sub-group. Nice story with her dad & all. But best of all, this girl can sang! The problem with singing Aretha a capella is that it can sound like shouting. Even so, she could be a contender.

The Bad:

• Shannon McGough - Winner, “Meat grinder? Nope, Idol’s the real meat grinder” sub-group. Shy. Cute. Burps. What’s not to like? Well, the fact that she sang Janis Joplin, for starters. Joplin wasn’t a singer, she was a drunken force of nature. Good Lord, that wasn’t a good audition. If she’s never been told she can’t sing, then she needs to hang around a better & more discerning class of people. On the other hand, it’s good to see some outraged self-deception back on the Idol stage…
• Ghaleb Emachah - Winner, “Ladies love Latin lotharios” sub-group. Gypsy music? Eh. No, the accent will not allow for eventual success. Putting him through was due to Simon vs. Paula than to anything else. Like, you know, real talent.
• Julie Dubela - Winner, “American Juniors means squat, sweetie” sub-group. Self-delusion & a sense of entitlement are a brutal combination, no?. Top 20 in AJ just goes to show that AJ died a much-deserved death. Another Joplin song? Why do these girls think that covering her is anything even remotely like a good idea. She didn’t know what “precocious” means? I’m shocked, shocked, I tell you. She needs to be hotter to be as dumb as she seems to be. Simon’s “overindulged” comment is spot-on.
• Brandon Black - Winner, “You cannot be serious” sub-group. Funny? No. Talent? No. Massive suckitude? Yup. Auditions like this make me hate this show. Being bad is OK, if you’re compellingly bad. This jackass isn’t even within sight of being compelling. He’s just pathetically sad.

Honorable Mention:

• Corliss Smith & Brittany Westcott - Winner, “Big, black beautiful sistahs? Yeeeah!” sub-group. Corliss wants her some Randy & Britney wants to get her Seacrest on. Vocally, Brittany is better than Corliss, but these two are just so much fun! Honest & joyful — I’m looking forward to seeing them in Hollywood.
• Suzanne Toon - Winner, “Single-mom stories always tug at the heartstrings” sub-group. Cute girl. Nice story. Worthy of Hollywood. Probably won’t make it too deep into the competition, but could surprise.

The Indifferent:

• Ramiele Malubay - Winner, “Tiny Filipinas are cute” sub-group. Big voice, little girl. Could be a compelling story; however, odds are it won’t play out that way. The thing she doesn’t have that Jasmine Trias (AI:3) did is the backing of the entire state of Hawaii.
• Robbie Carrico - Winner, “Boy bands reunited” sub-group. Forgettable. Just not good enough for me. More memorable for the silly-string reception than for the singing.
• Natashia Blach - Winner, “Old vibes can be good vibes” sub-group. Nice voice, and she could make the jump.
• Ilsy Lorena Pinot - Winner, “Blonde perms & tiny tank tops will take you places” sub-group. Again, a nice voice, but probably not good enough for a long life in Idol.

Total for Miami: 17 golden tickets. Wow, fewer than Omaha. Who’dathunk that?

Up next: Atlanta - the final audition city!

-ghp