I get monasticism
I love visiting Fort Wayne, largely because it gives me (at the very least) the opportunity to drive through the campus of CTSFW. There is something about being on the campus of that seminary that I find almost indescribably sublime. It’s calming, comforting, & inspiring. (And if I make it into the bookstore, frustrating and/or costly!)
I’m drawn to it in such a way that I really do (I think) understand the allure of monasticism, or at least the desire to “escape the real world” and steep oneself in an environment that is (one would think/hope) more theologically & doctrinally safe/pure.
Now, I certainly know that it is still in & of this world, and that it’s still a place populated by sinners. It’s just that it feels like such a respite from the daily grind, such a safe haven, that it’s hard for me not to feel a certain sense of longing. At least for what it represents in my mind, anyway…
-ghp
I know this feeling well
Ah, the feeling of realized impending doom… I know it well. 
On the positive side, these reruns of Peanuts truly do show the genius that Charles M. Schulz possessed — these strips hold up better than most contemporary comics page offerings!
-ghp
I hate small talk, and other such musings
Some random musings, as I try not to feel utterly horrible on a sick-day at home…
I don’t like small talk. In fact, I detest it. This is something that is probably quite in line with my personality type (ISTJ in Myers-Briggs, with extreme introversion). I’m quite certain, however, that it’s caused me many problems over the course of my life & career, due to the fact that much of what passes for “success” and building relationships is dependent on schmoozing. With schmoozing being defined as often mindless pleasantries, the likes of which are sort of a social lubricant that keeps our interpersonal interactions functioning smoothly.
I just don’t like small talk, and have a low tolerance for it. I’d be willing to bet money that this has caused more than a few folks to view me as quite the arrogant so-and-so over the years. In actuality, it’s really more the fact that I’d prefer to be silent than to engage in the banal pleasantries, and not that I think that I’m better/smarter/whatever. (Disclaimer: truth be told, I am certainly more arrogant than I ought to be, but that’s not the primary driver in this particular case…)
When combined with my oft dark & sarcastic sense of humor, my introversion & distaste for small talk makes several things quite ironic, e.g., my serving on the board of elders at church, my fascination with the Seminary, and that I have a job in which I deal with people. I also know that it serves as a point of frustration for my lovely & long-suffering wife, as it’s a (most-likely) large factor in why our social life isn’t as, shall we say, robust as she might like it to be. (I, on the other hand, being my father’s son, am quite happy with the level of social interaction…)
The funny thing is, I don’t mind interacting with people when the interaction is substantive. This serves as a nice segue into my second musing…
There’s a dearth of informed, substantive discourse today. Over the course of a discussion on CAT41’s Table Talk email list, the following statement was made, to which I can add my strong agreement:
Whenever anyone makes a statement about what is edifying or best, you can predict as surely as the sun will rise tomorrow that it will be followed by a post urging “moderation” lest someone misconstrue it as legalism. Let’s have a real discussion about what people are actually saying rather than what we “feel” they may be heading toward.
You see, one of the things I want out of a Lutheran congregation is to have opportunities for real, substantive, theological discussions. Unfortunately, this is something that is darned near impossible to find and/or have on a congregational level, because so many folks are weakly and/or uncatechized on the basic fundamentals of Lutheranism. I’ve often stated that, if folks knew what they were affirming in our Confessions when they signed on to become members, they’d be completely & utterly aghast, as there’s no way that they’d ever want to be so “unloving,” “uncaring,” and “judgmental”! Our culture today is so relativistically tolerant, that it can abide nearly everything but a firm confession of absolute truth. This has resulted in good folks having been led astray. It has also yielded, as a result of contemporary American “evangelical” methobapticostalism, in folks who only want to engage theology on emotional and individual levels, and who will abide no discussion of absolutes that might offend.
The worst part is that these dear sheep have been led astray by ear-tickling undershepherds who have not only willingly abdicated their God-given responsibilities, but who have done so by twisting Scripture. These are people who (as I paraphrase from other recent TT discussion): can’t deal with God’s Word as God gave it. They have to change and “contextualize” God’s Word in order for it to “be meaningful”. Being the weak-of-faith sinner that I am, this drives me to despair when I try and think of how to deal with it in order to carry out the vocations to which I have been given, particularly as the head of my household and on the board of elders. I daily pray for the strength to not turn tail & take the coward’s way out, for that way (I’m ashamed to admit) looks to be far easier & more appealing…
Thanks be to God that He is faithful & just, graceful & loving — for I know that He will grant me the necessary strength, and will always keep me safe in His loving embrace.
-ghp
Blahg blahg blahg
For some reason, I feel like writing today. Actually, I feel like writing most days, but I end up talking myself out of it for various & sundry reasons. Given what I do blog about, I sometimes think (’worry’ might be too strong a word…) about the picture that folks who read my blog get about me. I mean, looking back at my entries, they make perfect sense to me because, after all, I have all the necessary context. But most all y’all (excepting perhaps big sis) don’t. So, I wonder about the possibility (or rather likelihood) that my bleatings on this blog are putting out a (and let’s be nice about this) slightly skewed version of who I am. I don’t think so, all things considered, as I think the general picture of me is/can be accurately distilled from reading what I’ve written here. It’s not enough to get the full 100% “ghp experience”, but it’s probably as close as most of y’all would ever want or need, knamean? But, as is often my wont, I digress — I’m really a sweet lovable Lutheran… 
I should really try and blog during the moments just before I fall asleep in bed at night. For it is at those moments when I am the most creative and ambitious person alive! Really… if I lived my life with the creativity & resolve I feel during that time just before sleep, I’d be in tip-top shape, great health, and weigh less than 190 lbs. with nary the hint of type 2 diabetes or high cholesterol. Heck, I might even have a full head of hair! (prolly not, though…) I would have committed the Bible & Book of Concord to memory, and my children would be shining examples of well catechized little Lutherans. Yup, I’d be all that and a bag of brats (’cause chips are for those heterodox Anglicans, don’tcha know)!
But, alas and alack, I’m not the person of those last, waning moments of consciousness. When I wake up, I’m still the dumpy, overweight, prone to headaches/migraines guy with surprisingly little willpower, who generally finds ways to fall way short of where he really should be. For example, on a day like today, I feel the shame & guilt of not having gotten the family to church. For the third week in a row. Oh yeah, I’m the guy who should be on the board of elders, suuuuure… I’m a hypocritical wretch. I suck. Yet I’ll still be in Heaven someday, because God has given me the saving faith necessary to trust in my Baptism. I feel the daily assault of Satan, make no mistake about it, especially in the form of pietism and the oh-so-tempting idea that I can contribute something along and/or show just how good I am. Thankfully, God continually reaches down into the muck of my sin and cleanses me by drowning my old Adam in the waters of my Baptism.
So I’ve got that going for me, which is nice…
-ghp
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