Once more unto the breech
Well, my two week break is over. Tomorrow, it’s back to work (for me), school (für die Kinder), & the mud room (for Holly).
Several times during the past two weeks, I felt almost guilty, like I wasn’t getting done what I should. At those times, I tried to remind myself of why I took the two weeks off: 1) to watch the kids, so that we didn’t have to pay for daycare during their holiday break, and 2) to watch the new puppy, helping her get acclimated to her new home (esp. in the form of house-training her…).
I’m pretty sure that I’ve blogged before on my tendency to, shall we say, underperfrom/achieve in the face of large chunks of free time. This was certainly the case in the past two weeks, somewhat understandably fueled by the fact that Holly needed lots & lots of close supervision — meaning that I wasn’t able to do a whole lot of anything that required undisturbed concentration.
That all said, I’m willing to pin my rationalization (and, thus, my positive state of mind) on the vocational argument that realizes and accepts that I fulfilled the two main reasons/goals I had for taking the time off of work. Namely, I was able to watch the kids & keep from having to send them to daycare. Money was saved & lots of good time was spent with them. Second, I think that I was quite successful in helping Holly get properly integrated into her new home. She isn’t fully housetrained, but then what 10 week old pup would be? She is, however, making good progress, and seems to understand the basic premise. She is also showing herself to be much more comfortable with her new surroundings and, in particular, her new big brother Hammie. The two of them are now really starting to have fun romping & playing with each other, and then snuggling for a nap. And she’s growing like a weed, having gained a full pound in the past week, getting her up to a robust 4.2 lbs!
I know that returning to work will be a pain tomorrow (esp. given the backlog of work that’s resulted from one of my staff leaving with rather short notice recently…), but if it was all fun, it wouldn’t be work, now would it? ;^)
For those of you who might be interested, here are links to two new slideshows, one of Holly & Hammie snuggling, and the other of Holly’s first bath.
-ghp
This ‘n that
Over a week without posting. Who’da thunk it?
Paragraph 1: The Weather (External) — Winter is here in NW IN, in the form of sub-freezing temps & ~5″ of snow last night. I drive past lots of farmland (corn & soybean fields mostly) on the way to work, and the starkness of snow covered fields never ceases to move me. It is inspiring and desolate. Bleak but Beautiful. Restful, yet reflective of inner turmoil.
Paragraph 2: The Weather (Internal) — Intellectually, I flash on the history of our country and the hardy folks that built it. I contemplate the differences between how we interact with winter in ways that are far different than just 100 years ago. I am thankful that I live now. I am drawn to the Midwestern winter tableau. Emotionally, I feel the bleakness that I see in the fields. Waning daylight and cloudy skies contribute to my increasing moodiness. This has always been true. Even so, I have always stated that this is my favorite season. And I always will…
Paragraphs 3 & 4: Blahg — I think that one of the reasons that I always return to blogging about realitytv & pop-culture-ish stuff is this: it’s sort of like comfort food to me. It’s an escape, of sorts, from the “real” world, or at least from the daily grind that occupies my thought cycles for most of the day. There are days I’d very much like to bitch about work, not so much about specific incidents, but about conceptual things. The problem is that I don’t want to risk causing myself unneeded grief. It’s not that I think that someone is (or would be) out to get me in trouble; no, it’s more that my internal sense of impending doom gets hung up on the “what-if?” scenarios. It’s very much the same thing that keeps me from venting about things theological, as much of my thinking is done on topics that rise up at my home congregation (like folks reacting against the pastor chanting, because it’s “too Roman Catholic” - I’d really like to vent on that, but I’d hate for it to somehow get back & cause my pastor any grief…). At times/in instances like this I really do understand why some folks get involved in anonymous blogging.
I also wonder from time to time about the whole question of to what purpose do I blog. It stings when folks I respect dismiss blogging as something that is almost unredeemably (to coin a word) self-aggrandizing. I reject that assessment of blogging, particularly when it’s made by those who hold email lists (and possibly discussion forums) as somehow being more thoughtful & beneficial for thoughtful discourse. It just ain’t so. Is blogging sometimes bereft of content and purpose? Sure. Is it always so? No, of course not. Any medium where thoughts & opinions are given & discussed will have good and bad associated with it. I’ve read crap in email lists, discussion forums, and blogs. I’ve read brilliant commentary in all three. I’m glad I have access to all three. I’ll continue to use all three, despite what highly opinionated proponents of each might say about the others.
Besides, AI7 is just over a month away!
-ghp
Willow Creek repents?
Per this blog & this article at Christianity Today, Bill Hybels over at Willow Creek states “We made a mistake.”
Wow.
I’ve long thought the theology of pop-American Evangelicalism (as defined by the “seeker sensitive” mantra of Church-Growthers like Bill Hybels’ Willow Creek & Rick Warren’s Saddleback churches) to be deficient, dangerous, and outright wrong. Thus, it’s interesting to read the article at CT & some of the comments at the other blog linked to above, wherein Hybels forthrightly admits that they’ve made some mistakes wrt their programmatic emphases. To wit:
“Some of the stuff that we have put millions of dollars into thinking it would really help our people grow and develop spiritually, when the data actually came back it wasn’t helping people that much. Other things that we didn’t put that much money into and didn’t put much staff against is stuff our people are crying out for.”
“We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and become Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become ‘self feeders.’ We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their bible between service, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own.”
Read that second paragraph again. Legalistic/Law-driven “participation” & emphasis on programs didn’t work. Catechesis, teaching, & training in the Word is what should’ve been done.
Amen.
Church ought not to be primarily a social club. It’s where we get fed through Word & Sacrament. That’s how we get equipped to exercise our various God-given vocations, through which God ensures that His children are cared for. Socialization is important, for we most certainly do need to support & “build each other up” (1 Thess 5:11) in the body of Christ. It’s just that it is not the end in and of itself, and neither will it suffice as the sole/primary means for helping folks grow in their walk with God.
That some are being led to this realization is, as the saying goes, a good thing.
-ghp
The finding out…
While the waiting might very well be the hardest part, I can now say that the finding out isn’t all that easy, either.
As might have been easily discerned, I was waiting on the results of a job search. More specifically on the results of being a finalist for a position that would’ve been a significant progression in my career trajectory (from the assistant director-level I’m currently at, to a director-level position).
I didn’t get it.
Which has been quite a difficult pill to swallow. Not (necessarily) because I’m unhappy where I am currently, but more because I believe that I’m ready to take the next step, career-wise, while also being at a point where it makes sense wrt family commitments to make a change, and because I really did like & want the position that I didn’t get.
That all said, I’ve been trying to take a more thoughtful & measured approach to my current situation, at least as it pertains to the doctrine of vocation. There is still work to be done where I’m at, and I need to remember that I’m here for a reason, and that I can very much serve my neighbor in positive, God-pleasing ways. It isn’t always easy or pleasant, but then I guess those were never really promised, were they?
I’m still going to keep my eyes & ears open for other positions, as I believe that doing so is a responsible thing to do, in terms of faithfully executing my vocations as husband, father, & head-of-household. I’m just going to have to try and avoid being too manic about it, so that I don’t make myself crazy.
-ghp
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